Dear Cleitus,
Today you are one week past "viability day" which means that if you decided to make your world debut you'd have a 50% chance of surviving. As much of a relief as that day was to me, I do not want you to even think about leaving your current home for another 12+ weeks. You've got lots of growing to do and you'll be much more comfortable where you are.
Cleitus, you become more real to me every day as I can now feel you kicking and flipping. You seem to have some favorite things that really get you going: namely, orange juice and Kylie Minogue music. I hope your penchant for Australian blonds is short-lived because your mama is intent on you finding a good Southern girl to marry when that time comes. While your kicks have gotten stronger and are sometimes uncomfortable, I secretly love them because they remind me that you're a real baby. MY baby! I can put my hands on my belly and feel you and think about how wonderful it will be to really touch and kiss you.
Even though I can feel you quite often, I still get very scared for your safety, especially on days when you're not as active as usual. I can't imagine how much scarier it will be once you're out in the world and not right with me all of the time! I'm sure that in several years I will drive you crazy with my worrying. But just know that it's all because, even now when I haven't even seen your face, I can't imagine my life without you.
Love,
Mama
Showing posts with label letters to le petit bebe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label letters to le petit bebe. Show all posts
Friday, February 12, 2010
Saturday, December 12, 2009
16 Week Letter
Dear Cleitus,
Ever since we found out about you back in September, I'd had a feeling that you were a girl. I chalked my feeling up to women's intuition and felt validated by the scores of other people telling me they also thought you were a girl.
Well babe, I can tell you now that women's intuition = FAIL. You're a BOY!! And we are so, so excited. The ultrasound technician made the mistake of showing us your boy parts right away so we then had to wait for an hour before we could share our joy with our families. The whole time I was thinking, "Who cares about his KIDNEYS? I want to tell everyone about his PENIS!" However, I'm happy to report that your kidneys, along with everything else, also look great.
I'm sure you are relieved to learn that I will not be posting a picture of the "proof" that you're a boy on the interwebs. Oh no, I'm saving that picture to show at the rehearsal dinner the day before you get married. (Just kidding). (Maybe).
Even though I had mentally prepared myself for a girl, I get more excited every time I think about you being a boy. Little boys and their mommies have such special bonds and I can't wait to watch you grow up and see what you will become. You will have such wonderful influences around you that will teach you about how to be a good, smart, Godly man. Your daddy is itching to sing you songs about calculus, physics, and school you in Carolina basketball while your grandaddies are likely scheming to teach you the fight song for NC State, just to spite us. Your uncle Jordan has promised that you will know all about Western harmony. You'll learn loyalty and generosity and strength from all the men who you are lucky to have as family.
And as for me? I'm going to love you with all my heart, no matter what. Even if you do become a State fan.
Love,
Mama
Ever since we found out about you back in September, I'd had a feeling that you were a girl. I chalked my feeling up to women's intuition and felt validated by the scores of other people telling me they also thought you were a girl.
Well babe, I can tell you now that women's intuition = FAIL. You're a BOY!! And we are so, so excited. The ultrasound technician made the mistake of showing us your boy parts right away so we then had to wait for an hour before we could share our joy with our families. The whole time I was thinking, "Who cares about his KIDNEYS? I want to tell everyone about his PENIS!" However, I'm happy to report that your kidneys, along with everything else, also look great.
I'm sure you are relieved to learn that I will not be posting a picture of the "proof" that you're a boy on the interwebs. Oh no, I'm saving that picture to show at the rehearsal dinner the day before you get married. (Just kidding). (Maybe).
Even though I had mentally prepared myself for a girl, I get more excited every time I think about you being a boy. Little boys and their mommies have such special bonds and I can't wait to watch you grow up and see what you will become. You will have such wonderful influences around you that will teach you about how to be a good, smart, Godly man. Your daddy is itching to sing you songs about calculus, physics, and school you in Carolina basketball while your grandaddies are likely scheming to teach you the fight song for NC State, just to spite us. Your uncle Jordan has promised that you will know all about Western harmony. You'll learn loyalty and generosity and strength from all the men who you are lucky to have as family.
And as for me? I'm going to love you with all my heart, no matter what. Even if you do become a State fan.
Love,
Mama
Friday, November 20, 2009
13 Week Letter
Dear Cleitus,
It's been a while since I've written to you, but CHILD, you have scared your mama and daddy to pieces over the past month. It started with a little bit of spotting followed by that thing on the back of your neck. That 'thing' is gone now and you look amazing, and for this we are so, so grateful.
Cleitus, I'm going to tell you something that may make you think your mama is a little crazy. I believe God healed you over those few weeks. I don't have any proof other than two ultrasounds that look dramatically different from one another. And the doctors did say that sometimes nuchal translucencies resolve on their own. But baby doll, I don't think it was random. There were so many people praying for you. Your grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, cousins, friends, and of course your daddy and I were praying for you constantly.
I also have to confess that at the beginning, I wasn't praying for a miraculous healing. I was praying for the translucency to mean something not-too-severe. I was praying for you to live. I was praying for strength for your daddy and I. But then, the day before we went in for the CVS test, it hit me. God is SO MUCH BIGGER than what I could imagine. God could make this whole problem go away! God could make it so that I wouldn't even need the test. A tiny part of my mind wanted to stop thinking these thoughts because I didn't want to be disappointed, but I held onto that hope and prayed fervantly for it that night. And my prayers were answered, so directly. The joy I feel is overwhelming and I can't help myself from telling everyone what happened.
And Cleitus, I'm writing this down because one day I want to tell you. I cannot wait to tell you how much Jesus loves you and how amazing He is. I canoot wait to tell you, a child of God, that He can do more than we ever ask or imagine. I cannot wait to read you Bible stories with miracles and to tell you about your own miracle. I just cannot wait.
Love always,
Mama
It's been a while since I've written to you, but CHILD, you have scared your mama and daddy to pieces over the past month. It started with a little bit of spotting followed by that thing on the back of your neck. That 'thing' is gone now and you look amazing, and for this we are so, so grateful.
Cleitus, I'm going to tell you something that may make you think your mama is a little crazy. I believe God healed you over those few weeks. I don't have any proof other than two ultrasounds that look dramatically different from one another. And the doctors did say that sometimes nuchal translucencies resolve on their own. But baby doll, I don't think it was random. There were so many people praying for you. Your grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, cousins, friends, and of course your daddy and I were praying for you constantly.
I also have to confess that at the beginning, I wasn't praying for a miraculous healing. I was praying for the translucency to mean something not-too-severe. I was praying for you to live. I was praying for strength for your daddy and I. But then, the day before we went in for the CVS test, it hit me. God is SO MUCH BIGGER than what I could imagine. God could make this whole problem go away! God could make it so that I wouldn't even need the test. A tiny part of my mind wanted to stop thinking these thoughts because I didn't want to be disappointed, but I held onto that hope and prayed fervantly for it that night. And my prayers were answered, so directly. The joy I feel is overwhelming and I can't help myself from telling everyone what happened.
And Cleitus, I'm writing this down because one day I want to tell you. I cannot wait to tell you how much Jesus loves you and how amazing He is. I canoot wait to tell you, a child of God, that He can do more than we ever ask or imagine. I cannot wait to read you Bible stories with miracles and to tell you about your own miracle. I just cannot wait.
Love always,
Mama
Friday, October 23, 2009
9 Week Letter
Dear Cleitus,
We told your Great-Granny Collum about you last night. It was her birthday and we wanted to surprise her with some good news. When I said the words, she screamed and laughed. She was so happy, just like your Granny was when we told her several weeks ago. I know that as we begin to tell other people about you over the next few week, we will hear many similar reactions, especially from the Collum side of the family.
And while some people might look at that kind of excitement and yelling as a little bit crazy, I know that it means that you, Cleitus, are a very lucky little baby. You are SO LOVED. Already. Before anyone knows anything about you other than your penchant for changing your mind about craving mac and cheese after your daddy bought four boxes of it. It doesn't matter if you wear pink or blue, inherit your daddy's curly or your mama's straight hair, have a Type A or Type B personality, or prefer science or literature. You are loved and you are being born into a family full of love. You may not realize it, but that feeling you'll get when you walk (or are carried, because I guarantee that your relatives will rush to the car to get you) into your Great-Granny's house is Love. It's a love that gives, forgives, inspires, and comforts. And I cannot wait for you to experience it.
Love always,
Mama
We told your Great-Granny Collum about you last night. It was her birthday and we wanted to surprise her with some good news. When I said the words, she screamed and laughed. She was so happy, just like your Granny was when we told her several weeks ago. I know that as we begin to tell other people about you over the next few week, we will hear many similar reactions, especially from the Collum side of the family.
And while some people might look at that kind of excitement and yelling as a little bit crazy, I know that it means that you, Cleitus, are a very lucky little baby. You are SO LOVED. Already. Before anyone knows anything about you other than your penchant for changing your mind about craving mac and cheese after your daddy bought four boxes of it. It doesn't matter if you wear pink or blue, inherit your daddy's curly or your mama's straight hair, have a Type A or Type B personality, or prefer science or literature. You are loved and you are being born into a family full of love. You may not realize it, but that feeling you'll get when you walk (or are carried, because I guarantee that your relatives will rush to the car to get you) into your Great-Granny's house is Love. It's a love that gives, forgives, inspires, and comforts. And I cannot wait for you to experience it.
Love always,
Mama
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Six Week Letter
Dear Cleitus,
Cleitus you say? Yep! Your daddy and I have chosen Cleitus as your official name until we are able to see your genitals and decide on a more appropriate name. I don't want to hear any complaints from you Cleitus, because, quite frankly, you've been making your poor mama miserable. And I confess that it is hard for me to associate the constant urge to vomit, exhaustion, unquenchable thirst, and cramps that wake me up in the middle of the night with you, my dear little baby. I feel guilty and sad that I am not SO EXCITED to experience these things. I worry that I'm a wimp or too selfish to see the good in my discomfort.
But despite feeling so discouraged and overwhelmed by the prospect of being in the first trimester for TWO MORE MONTHS, I do know that it WILL get better. For a while, anyway. And then there will be other ailments and pains that may very well pull your hormone-crazy mama into yet another funk. But Cleitus, I just keep telling myself that it will be completely worth it. On the day they place you on my belly and I hear your cries and see your beautiful face all of these annoyances will be far from my mind.
Love always, Mama
Cleitus you say? Yep! Your daddy and I have chosen Cleitus as your official name until we are able to see your genitals and decide on a more appropriate name. I don't want to hear any complaints from you Cleitus, because, quite frankly, you've been making your poor mama miserable. And I confess that it is hard for me to associate the constant urge to vomit, exhaustion, unquenchable thirst, and cramps that wake me up in the middle of the night with you, my dear little baby. I feel guilty and sad that I am not SO EXCITED to experience these things. I worry that I'm a wimp or too selfish to see the good in my discomfort.
But despite feeling so discouraged and overwhelmed by the prospect of being in the first trimester for TWO MORE MONTHS, I do know that it WILL get better. For a while, anyway. And then there will be other ailments and pains that may very well pull your hormone-crazy mama into yet another funk. But Cleitus, I just keep telling myself that it will be completely worth it. On the day they place you on my belly and I hear your cries and see your beautiful face all of these annoyances will be far from my mind.
Love always, Mama
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
A Love Letter
Mon petit bébé,
I always wondered how I would react the moment I found out that your daddy and I had succeeded in creating you. As I have a slight flair for the dramatic I envisioned jumping up and down, screaming, and all sorts of other emotional displays. But instead I walked into the kitchen, hands trembling, and said quietly to your dad, "I think there are two lines." And there were! Even without needing to squint or tilt the test sideways as I had done in previous months that we were hoping for a miracle, we could see very clearly the evidence of your presence.
Right now you are probably making yourself at home. You may be exhausted after that long trip through my fallopian tubes and desire a place of your own. Well, go right ahead. Mi uterus, su casa little baby. Unpack your boxes, hang some pictures, and get comfy. Make sure to clear the clutter because even though you are only the size of a poppy seed right now, you're going to be closer to the size of a basketball before long. Mommy will make sure you get lots of yummy nutritious food to help you grow that much. If you want something specific, just let me know and I'll have daddy go out and get it for us. (I am really looking forward to this part of being your host!)
Baby, if you ever hear me complaining about feeling sick because you're there, don't worry. Secretly I'll be pleased that I have symptoms that remind me of you. And I promise you, I am so happy to endure whatever may come just for the privilege of having you here.
Love always,
Mama
I always wondered how I would react the moment I found out that your daddy and I had succeeded in creating you. As I have a slight flair for the dramatic I envisioned jumping up and down, screaming, and all sorts of other emotional displays. But instead I walked into the kitchen, hands trembling, and said quietly to your dad, "I think there are two lines." And there were! Even without needing to squint or tilt the test sideways as I had done in previous months that we were hoping for a miracle, we could see very clearly the evidence of your presence.
Right now you are probably making yourself at home. You may be exhausted after that long trip through my fallopian tubes and desire a place of your own. Well, go right ahead. Mi uterus, su casa little baby. Unpack your boxes, hang some pictures, and get comfy. Make sure to clear the clutter because even though you are only the size of a poppy seed right now, you're going to be closer to the size of a basketball before long. Mommy will make sure you get lots of yummy nutritious food to help you grow that much. If you want something specific, just let me know and I'll have daddy go out and get it for us. (I am really looking forward to this part of being your host!)
Baby, if you ever hear me complaining about feeling sick because you're there, don't worry. Secretly I'll be pleased that I have symptoms that remind me of you. And I promise you, I am so happy to endure whatever may come just for the privilege of having you here.
Love always,
Mama
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
